My Depressive State, How It Starts And How I Get Out
I wanted to talk about some of the darker sides of being an entrepreneur because I feel many of the gurus don’t discuss this side and only like to talk about the success and what you can achieve.
I feel this creates a false impression for many new entrepreneurs of what you may have to go through, the struggles and feelings that can happen compared to working for someone.
The inspiration for this post came from a feeling that happened to me over the most recent weekend.
Up to this point, I had been fine, working hard on my new business of making affiliate commissions from Facebook ads. The learning curve was a sharp one but I enjoyed the challenge. It involved learning many new things, it has been a rough ride but I always had that one thing on my mind; I want Success and I will succeed no matter what!
Small Tweaks Of Freedom
Problems started to occur and that caused my schedule to screw up. I was doing less and less work due to the new ads I was running (You have to wait for a few days before you can start to get some realistic data), when they went live I didn’t have much else to do, I started to become idle whilst my mind was looking for other things to do.
I started to fill the void with Netflix, Facebook, YouTube. Everything that gave me entertainment in the short term but didn’t really fill the long term void of what really had to fulfill me.
I started to feel myself slipping back into a state where I knew I would be seriously unhappy, a state that I have been in many times before when I had absolutely no purpose in my life, a time when I thought what the Fuck am I doing with my life.
That was a very venomous time for me, it isn’t something that you should get into because once you’re there you start to stumble deeper and deeper in and then without the right mindset can be very difficult to get out of it.
How Does It Start?
The terrible feeling sneaks up on you and you can not see it happening.
I always have a feeling that everything in my life is going great, nothing can go wrong and then I start to become a bit lazier within my business and approach to everything I am doing and I am slowly left with a daily schedule of doing next to nothing.
At first, I feel like I deserve this break and I start to get comfortable thinking “YES, I can watch a Netflix marathon and don’t have to do anything else besides this.
I have my handy smart phone at my side just in case I get extra bored. This is the starting point of it every time.
I don’t realize when it starts to happen but every time I get out of it I understand what it is and think how did I let myself get in this state again.
This feeling of relief starts off so innocent but slowly turns into what the F*ck am I doing with my life and then you start to question everything you are doing.
You start to become reactive to situations instead of having everything planned.
Think about it, when you’re working on a project, yes it is hard but it is not something you will fall into a state of mindlessness because you have a goal and a target you need to get to, but when you don’t set goals and milestones you don’t really know the direction you want to take.
What This Will Eventually Turn Into
There is a sense of danger to doing nothing, this feeling will eventually turn into a state of sadness and you will really start to think there is nothing you can do.
It is one of the hardest feelings because it will turn into something evil, something which will get you into a bad cycle of doing nothing, and when you do start on working on something it will be with the least amount of effort.
You will think I need to do this because I have to, while on the other hand when you’re focused it is something you want to do.
This feeling will start to screw with your schedule too. Your once pristine wake up at 7 am, do tasks at certain times turns into a sloppy mess of staying up till 4 am in the morning looking at your phone, watching movies and TV programs and turning into a life of nothingness.
Identifying you Have a Problem
In today’s society people are always looking for the quick fix, I’m not saying it isn’t possible. But people will often resolve to short term fix instead of addressing the cause.
These short term fixes will give you instant happiness but as soon as they’re gone you will be back to the same old state or even worse after a few times of using these short term fixes they don’t work anymore because your mind has become accustomed to them.
A few short term fixes are, going out for ice cream, looking at Facebook, watching a Movie, something which you can get now and will ease the pain a tiny bit.
The problem with these is your just putting a bandage on a wound which is still gushing and it will just seep through, you need to look at the route cause to stitching up the wound to make it stop bleeding and let it heal.
The healing is what is important, you need to identify what is causing it and how you can go about making positive changes which will have a greater impact on your future.
Solving The Problem
The first time this happened to me the hardest thing for me was questioning myself, I was comfortable and didn’t want to change. Even though that comfortableness wasn’t the best for me.
It took me 2 months to finally work it out for myself, yes I didn’t have anyone diagnosing me, I am stubborn like that. I refuse to go to the doctor unless it is something really serious.
In this situation, I questioned myself some simple questions.
- What caused me to become the way I am?
- What do I really want in life?
- What steps do I need to take to get there?
Each of these questions were difficult to answer in the environment I was spending most of my time in, I had to go somewhere different, somewhere my mind could think freely.
Two things I would do would be to go for a run, go for a cycle or take a long motorbike ride.
I have noticed that when you move you don’t have to concentrate on these things straight away, you allow your mind time to relax and really give you the answers you have been after.
Staying in a room or confined space puts stress on my mind.
The questions above are my go to questions for helping me every time, they allow me to identify exactly what is causing my problems and I can re-correct my course and get back on track after I have derailed.
Creating A Routine
You may be thinking why am I giving you a routine to follow when this is about emotions and solving them. Well, that is exactly that, solving my depressive state revolved around doing next to nothing and not really having direction.
Without a routine and knowing where I wanted to get to I stayed that way until I changed the way I thought and where I wanted to be.
A routine is paramount to getting yourself out of your aimless thinking. A routine is the key to creating actions which you do every day.
Even though my routine has changed over time as I improve on it, I have always had one because this not only lets me know what I should do but also which direction I am taking
I feel this is the most important thing that I need to start my day off, when I first heard this I was thinking “What! I don’t need this I am fine doing what I am doing” How wrong I was.
A morning routine sets me up for the day, it starts to give me focus and if I can’t follow this it is going to be more difficult to follow the rest of the tasks during the day.
If you’re curious this is my morning routine I have it saved in my ToDoIst app:
- Back Stretch
- Drink a big glass of water
- 20 Push up
- Put water in my face
- Breathing exercise
- Write down my goals
- Make my bed
- Tidy my room
- Sweep my room
- Brush my teeth
- Make bag for work
Having a schedule to follow will give you more direction, knowing which path to take during the day allows you to work more effectively.
People are reactive creature and we like to react to situations, think about it. You hear a notification on your phone and you have to look. You receive an email and you have to look. These are just some of the ways to kill your schedule and productivity.
The best thing I did was switch off notification to specific apps on my phone
Within my schedule, I like to concentrate on the biggest tasks in the morning because that is when I feel my brain is the most alert, so I take this from 8:30 – 12:30. I work on a Pomodoro timer, 25 working, 5 minutes rest.
I use the free timer on window 10.
In this 5 minutes, it is stretching, relaxing, not checking social media. Then after the rest, I am back to work sharp and focused.
I would go into weekly and monthly tasks and goals but that is for another post
If you’ve never heard of affirmation your life is about to change.
When I discovered affirmation through John Crestani’s course Super Affiliate System I created my own vision board and knew what I wanted in the future but it wasn’t until I listened to Be Obsessed or Be Average by Grant Cardone that it really stuck in. Maybe it took two people’s point of views for the information to stick in me.
The meaning from Wikipedia
Affirmations in New Thought and New Age terminology refer primarily to the practice of positive thinking and self-empowerment—fostering a belief that “a positive mental attitude supported by affirmations will achieve success in anything.”
In my simple words, it is write down your future goals in present tense. Here are a few of mine.
- I earn £5000 a month
- I have £10’000 saved in the bank
- Companies are fighting to hire me because my copy is that good
- My mum owns her house.
- I have hundreds of students paying a monthly income (course I will create 😉 )
These are just some, these have not happened yet but they will happen. You believe it will happen and this will drive you it to happen.
Write The Goals Daily
Those goals above are part of my daily goal writing, every morning I write down the goals I want to achieve. I took from Grant Cardone, what I do is write down my goals every morning in present tense as above. Grant says the goals which you really want will stick. And over time those goals will change, for example, I hit £5000 a month that figure will change.
Focus can sometimes get off course and this is when you can slip back to a bad way. knowing your overall targets and knowing the direction you want to take is key to getting to where you want to get to.
To wrap this up, I have had a mixture of the way I get out of my state and why I get in it. The reason why these are intertwined is that they both relate to things I do to get out of that way of thinking and stay out of it.
I understand everybody’s emotional states are different, not everybody will experience this while some people may experience something similar to this or different.
The most important thing is to keep yourself focused on a a bigger goal, look at the overall picture and know which direction you really want to take yourself in as this is the most important thing.
Without a goal you are like a ship without a sail, you will just float aimlessly through the ocean and get absolutely nowhere, the land is your goal and you will just stay in the ocean of sadness.
If you plan out your route you may come into bumps and hardships along the way but this is more fun than not doing anything and sitting down feeling sorry for yourself.
It is down to you to take hold of your own life and guide yourself in the right direction because without that you will never get anywhere.
Look for the root cause of the problem, accept that it has happened no matter how hard it hurt and this is the start of the recovery.
Plan your route and you will slowly crawl out of the place you are in.
If you enjoyed this post and would like to know more, have a question or just say hi, please leave a comment below.
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